Okay so here we are… Sunday (July 28, 2013), I spent the
whole day with Kraivin and his dad! We went around the outskirts of Bangkok. We
went to a local temple where we prayed and went around and saw the art works.
It was just so nice not being there with all the tourists and market sellers. I
prayed for good fortunes, a healthy family, and more (I have a lot of wishes).
Haha
Then, we proceeded to lunch to a nice restaurant and had a
fantastic meal! Screw you American Thai food! You are nothing like the actually
Thai food! We drove a little ways out after the meal, and went to the Ancient
City of Bangkok! It was like all other things in the city, beautiful,
wonderful, and magical. We drove and walked around for couple hours and then
headed over to the world’s largest crocodile farm. There we saw the show where
the performer stuck his head into a crocodile’s mouth! I was scared out of my
mind. The show was done in about 30 minutes, and Kraivin and I just toured
around some and fed the crocodiles and saw other animals. It was basically a
zoo.
Came back home and freshened up, and the whole family and me
went out for dinner! Dinner did not fall short of taste, like lunch, it was
fantastic! I ate till I could not eat anymore! There we discussed with the
entire family what Kraivin and I were planning on doing that night. We are
going to Patpong! From the parents, we heard it’s a dangerous street, full of
gangs and mafias…
The reason we needed to go to this road was for their
infamous Ping Pong show (Google it)…
We headed out for Patpong at 10pm, and it was a relatively
short ride to it from Kraivin’s house. As soon as we hopped out of the cab, a
guy asked, “You want shows, massage, girls, boys, what?”
I just needed to lose this guy so that I can get some $$$$$
out of the ATM. I never feel comfortable pulling money out near places like
this. We find the ATM pretty close, but hidden enough for my to stash $$$$$
into another pocket.
Now we talk to the guy. Ping Pong show is in a club called
wait for it… Super Pussy… I mean what else can it be called… Dull Pussy?? I
think not.
We proceeded in, and we paid our cover of 300 baht, roughly
$10. We sat down, and the strippers attacked Kraivin for money because we need
to tip on top of cover to sit there… The strippers looked terrible… I mean
nasty, bad, just bad… They were bigger ladies with stretch marks and under
bellies as if they had just given birth. I don’t know how long ago, but recent
that’s for sure… (I feel really bad writing this…)
I grabbed a beer that came with the cover to ease my nerves.
I felt so out of place and so uncomfortable, but it was a must see and do thing
in Bangkok, so I went with it. The ladies kept trying to touch and massage us
(I shooed them away, you know I’m good at that), and they kept haggling us for
tips. Every second they were asking for a 100 baht for a good show, what the
fuck is a good show? This is when trouble starts.
Kraivin asks, “Young, you think it’s a bad idea to bust out
my 1000 baht? I only have this bill.”
As I start to contemplate the idea, I see a stripper from
the corner of my eyes. For mature audience only, she was on her back, knees
bend, and pelvis up, with a cigarette in her hand near her vagina. This
stripper was puffing a smoke with her vagina! WITH HER VAGINA!
After I thought about it, it was too late. Kraivin whipped
out this 1000 baht, and they were so happy! We told them we need 900 baht back!
I don’t think they heard us right… He gets back a 700 baht and a Ping-Pong
paddle. Yes, it went there. He was at the end of the stage, and the performer
in the middle. She gets on down on her knees, splashed some water onto her
hands, and places it under her from the back; I guess this is an aiming
mechanism… With a popping sound that I can never forget, a Ping-Pong ball
launches out; Kraivin with the paddle couldn’t even react because it was so
fast. The ball made it to the back wall where two guys were sitting… They threw
in the towel when water and Ping-Pong ball hit too close for comfort. I
motioned to Kraivin, “Let’s go!” I was beyond nervous at this point. The
strippers are still attacking me with massages and tip bucket, and next thing
you know, another ball is launched, it didn’t know the same force as the first
one, but it managed to get people’s attention still. Another one launched, so
100 baht gets you a swing for a Ping-Pong ball at the Ping Pong show. Duly
noted…
It was like watching 100 train wrecks at once. I don’t know
which one to focus on. Next thing I know, Kraivin’s wallet is in another
women’s hand and she takes out a tip. What can he get now? His shirt is already
wet from the Ping- Pong balls, and we saw a lady puff a cigarette with her
vagina. What’s next? One stripper pulls lei from her vagina. I thought, “Okay,
this is somewhat normal…”, but I was wrong. She give throws the end she pulled
to Kraivin. I yell, “Don’t touch that!” Too late.
The attendants motioned for him to pull, and he did, and he
kept on going and going… It looked to be 4 meters long, maybe longer. At that
point, I had to get to safety; the strippers with massages and tip buckets were
attacking Kraivin, and I couldn’t do anything but flee. Fuck No Man Gets Left
Behind. They closed him in at the end of the stage, and wouldn’t let him leave,
so he spoke some Thai. They let him go after that. Moments later, Kraivin joins
me outside of Super Pussy, and we discuss what happened. I told him not to put
his hand in his mouth or in his eyes.
We were traumatized… I couldn’t believe what I just
witnessed…
We both walked around Patpong for a minute recollect
ourselves, and decided for a causal drink at a gay bar down the road. I know!
Kraivin was so traumatized that a gay bar was a comfort zone.
Getting to a quiet gay bar was no easy task, along the way
we were harassed many times for ladies, men, girls, boys, massage, prostitutes,
and whatever else you can imagine. After walking a bit I could tell we were
approaching a gay area, we were walking a guy tells us it’s a male strip club.
I looked to Kraivin, and he looked at me. I told him, “Let’s peep our head
in.”, and we did. A skinny Thai gay with a massive hard-on swinging it in at
the end of the stage, and I said, “Let’s not…”
We finally got to the bar that seemed normal; we grab a beer
and relaxed and talked about the fuckery of the night.
Mind the time, we left the house at 10pm, and we are chillin
out at 11:45pm…
After we saw some creepy guys at the bar macking on the
workers at this bar, we decided its time for home. We have to wake up early
tomorrow to go to the beach, and that’s what we did Monday (July 29, 2013). We
went to Pattaya to have a beach day to cap off my Bangkok trip.
I hopped on a flight at 2am Tuesday (July 30, 2013), and I
was in Busan 7 hours later.
What I saw in Bangkok for good or for bad cannot be unseen…
ever… for life… Hope the girls are safe…
Thanks Kraivin and the Chayangpath family!
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